


Sticky Nut Butter

by Tortellini



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Based on a Tumblr Post, Brother-Sister Relationships, Brotherhood, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dead People, Dick Jokes, Dysfunctional Family, Family, Family Bonding, Family Fluff, Gen, Humor, Inspired By Tumblr, Jokes, Peanut Butter, Talking To Dead People, Wordcount: 100-500
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-17 18:17:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18103847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tortellini/pseuds/Tortellini
Summary: You know that Ben is the only true voice of reason, at least when it comes to Klaus Hargreeves. He and Vanya are not amused.Oneshot/drabble





	Sticky Nut Butter

"...look, please, I'm begging you." Ben Hargreeves said quietly, his face in his hands. He knew any of his other siblings would agree with him too, but just his luck, it was only Klaus he could communicate with right now. "Please don't call peanut butter that. I will literally do anything if you stop."

Klaus, the little fucker. just grinned his shiteating grin and tilted his head. 

"What's wrong with sticky nut juice?"

The door opened and Vanya walked in. "Are you talking to Ben? Is he telling you to stop that already? Because please tell me he is."

Ben was relieved. At least his sister understood him, even in death. Before he could say anything else, Klaus spoke up for him. And dammit, he was still grinning. 

"Hey, listen. Ben died for our sins."

"I  _did not--"_ Ben tried to say, but he was being ignored. 

"...so if we don't sin then that means he died for nothing."

That's not what that meant either. But at this point Ben didn't bother trying to correct him. He knew by now it wouldn't work.


End file.
